Joe’s Grill is really the most standard Vancouver Eggs Benedict in my opinion. They have a few locations and put out your standard Benedict variations. Please stay away from the cheddar and bacon combo though. These are simply two items which should never be involved in a Benedict in my opinion. Sure throw a little CREAM cheese in there with the smoked salmon but that’s about all I can tolerate.
So let us forego a really quite timid Eggs Benedict review and weave a tale of Egg’s Benedict horror for this Halloween season.
It all began with a pounding scotch-induced hangover care of a one Mr. Kevin Bowser. We had retired to his abode after a failed night of dance hall partying. Sure, there was a wild limo ride involved and a Goldie’s Pizza break, but a party this does not make. By the way, I am quitting writing about Eggs Benedict and starting a Pizza Blog. I am open to suggestions for a name but am thinking “Him Jiggin’s ManyBready Drunken Pizza Corner Club”. Maybe I’ll stick to breakfast actually. Who even remembers pizza in that state.
So the curse began when Bowser decided that maybe instead of getting Eggs Benedict that we get a breakfast sandwich. I knew this was absurd and I took the suggestion as a mild personal insult to my character. With a little convincing I was able to lure him into Joe’s for a real breakfast.
Now, here is where things started to go astray for old Bowser. Perhaps it was mere coincidence, but I personally believe the Benedict God’s were angry that day. Now of course the suggestion of a breakfast sandwich did startle me, but I wouldn’t accredit the forthcoming horror to it. What I do believe irritated the ghost of Hollandaise was what Bowser ordered. He chose a breakfast scramble, with poached eggs, and a SIDE of Hollandaise.
You see Bowser, Eggs Benedict are made like they are for a reason. It is a delicate balance of Canadian Bacon, eggs, butter, more eggs yolks, more butter and a form of bread high in buttery crevasses. Ordering some shit-mix of breakfast materials and throwing a couple parts of this delightful breakfast meal on it insulted the other-worldly caretakers of delicious. Needless to say, when Bowser attempted to spice up this breakfast monstrosity with some hot sauce, the bottle, possessed by a angry breakfast hell-fiend, exploded everywhere. It in fact destroyed this bastardized Benedict dish in one fell swoop. Bowser was left with an empty hungover stomach and a hard-earned spooky breakfast lesson.
My Eggs Benedict came with Chorizo sausage and was delicious. Lightly toasted muffins topped with hearty spicy sausage, professionally cooked eggs, drizzled in a homemade Hollandaise Sauce. The hashbrowns were mediocre at best though, soggy and lifeless. They sat on my plate until I had no other choice but to make them be inside me.
Cute Server Girls