I recently headed down to sweet, sweet, America to give their Eggs Benedict a shot. I mean, they pretty much do everything better than Canadia, don’t they? With less restrictions on what they are allowed to put in food, America has the upper hand. There are indeed magic chemicals which cannot cross the 49th parallel due to their danger to deliciousness ratio. With that being said, I really thought I was in for something special.
Instead of looking into a well known breakfast establishment, I decided like any faux food-blogger, to get breakfast at the closest place to where I was staying. Enter Honey Honey. I mean just look at the place. How in God’s name does anyone walk by this place without being drawn into it’s nether regions. But alas, these were murky waters. The combination of extreme hunger and San Fransiscan architecture had taken hold of me and logic was quick to vanish.
Goddamnit, when a breakfast place specializes in Crepes how did I think I was going to get something special? Maybe if there was a Crepe Benny on the menu it could of been promising. But much like the Segel Bagel disaster I would surely not come out a sure-fire winner.
Oh, maybe I’m being a little dramatic on this one, it wasn’t as bad as a stage collapsing on me. I mean all the essentials were there, it just wasn’t the Apollo space launch I expected from our southern space-junkies. So yeah, let’s get down on this number. Starting with what it’s all about, the egg . Cooked to a very nice medium the egg seemed to be a solid foundation. Don’t jump to conclusion though, this was not a free-hand job (the hyphen is between and free and hand). There were tiny scuba-style underwater egg bowls used in the preparation which negate the danger and excitement of free poaching. This lead to a boring spherical egg that screamed “I kinda look like a breast implant for ET the Extra-terrestrial”. At least they didn’t fuck up how well done it was cooked.
Very surprisingly was the quality of Canadian bacon served under this freaky and unnatural round egg. Perhaps Honey Honey imports this from a legitimate Canadian source, or perhaps Canadian Bacon really doesn’t have that intrinsic of a tie to our home and native land. I had this epiphany while eating it and let me tell you, it was like I was eating an actual Canadian flag. Which was on fire. Yet somehow would distinguish at the area I was biting before it had a chance to burn my upper mouth.
Oh and the hash browns. Well look at them. The regularity of sizing annoys me and my mouth. Look at the parsley too. I used to work at Joey’s Fine Dining Restaurant as a parselyer and this is simply unacceptable, as my “Leader” used to say about my attitude.
Here’s the scores if you found this on google and actually interested in Eggs Benedict.
Cute Server Girls